HERE WE GO!

I"m going to start by going through the objectives of the "Camp Fire Girls, Inc" ( A corporation not a club?"
"Every Camp Fire Girl, when she grows up, carries along invisible treasures-her own special memories of Camp Fire Days."  I do have special memories and will explore them as I go along.  It continues..." Though of course we can't guess what all of them will be, we-your friends in Camp Fire all over the United States- hope you will keep, forever, in some measure:" (Who wrote this stuff for 8-10 year olds?)
"High ideals to live by, day by day"-I did not know what this meant and even now I wonder-honesty, modesty, kindness? What?
"A love of home and family that grows as you grow." This was a tough one for me.  When I was a child I thought a family was just a bunch of people who happened to live in the same house. The word love was never mentioned.  The idea that anyone loved me was ludicrous.  I certainly didn't think my parents loved me or each other.  They fought all the time and rarely had a good word to say to any of us kids.  I daydreamed about a happy family but I was powerless to live up to this Camp Fire Girls ideal.
Next up is "A quiet pride in being a girl and a full measure of womanly qualities."  There is another thing I didn't understand.  I certainly was not proud of being a girl.  Boys had the best stuff and the best opportunities.  Their toys were more fun-a truck that ROLLS or a doll that just lays there?  Boys' clothes were more comfortable-jeans or dresses?  In jeans you could run, jump and  climb.  In dresses you could sit, stand and walk slowly.  Boys dominated the classroom.  Girls?  What was there to be proud of?  And what is a "full measure of womanly qualities?" What is a "full measure?"  Are they talking cups, pounds, inches, dollars and cents? What are "womanly qualities?" To walk slowly in high heels with a demure smile on your face? Women who look like that remind me of cows.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE COWS! They always have that look as if they know all the fantasatic secrets of the universe.  Maybe that is a womanly quality.  To keep secrets or at least look like you have all the secrets.  If that's true then my cup, scale, yardstick and bank account are all  overflowing, groaning under the weight, coming up short and accruing tons of interest measuring my womanly qualities.  Keeping those family secrets has been a burden.
Moving on to the next objective-"Deep love for your country, a knowledge of what democracy means, readiness to serve;" I'm not sure I could say I had a deep love for my country.  It was drummed into us from the first day of kindergarten that "America" was the best country in the world and that we were fortunate to have been born here.  We were told that everyone wanted to be here or be exactly like us. Remembering that makes me cringe.  I don't even want to be like us! "The knowledge of what democracy is"-I guess I knew what the definition of democracy was.  It meant that we voted.  I knew nothing at that age of what went on behind closed doors, in the lobby, under cover of darkness that makes me feel like my vote doesn't count.  It's like finding out your boyfriend  is a liar.  A big letdown.  It doesn't mean you don't love him but maybe you will spend less time with him and eventually you will split up.  I also knew that democracy was NOT communism.  I think they tried to make us love our country by making us afraid of everyone else. 
"Readiness to serve"-now that was something I thought I could do.  When I was 10 years old I saw an episode of "the Patty Duke Show".  Patty wanted to join the Peace Corps and to prepare herself she was wearing a grass skirt and eating grass soup.  ( how convenient she could wear her lunch.) I had heard President Kennedy, "Ask not what your county can do for you. Ask what YOU can do for your country."  I was ready to go.  While Ididn't see how this was "serving my country" it looked like a great adventure that I wanted to go on.  Just 10 years later I was in Ecuador as a Peace Corps Volunteer serving my county and loving it.
Next-"Many friends, and the fun and happiness of making and keeping more, all through your life;"
I tended to cling to one friend as a child.  She must have felt suffocated by me! I didn't consider any one else my friend although looking back on it a lot of the kids I knew were my friends.  I wish I could have relaxed and accepted their friendship.  I was afraid of so many things.  Mostly I was afraid of letting anyone see the real me and my real family.  I couldn't even admit to myself what a miserable lot we were.  A friend was an escape from reality but if she had found out the truth our friendship  may have ended. I have made a lot of good friends since then but I hope I have kept the best friends of my childhood.
Next-"Good health and the habits that will help you keep it;" And yet another thing that was too abstract for me as a child.  I knew health meant NOT SICK.  I didn't know about being strong and fit or having endurance.  I knew what foods I was told were good for me that I hated and now I am told are not good for me.---meat, liver especially, and milk- I hated meat as a child and only ate it so that I wouldn't get into trouble. I had to convince myself that in these modern times(fifty years ago) that the meat on our table came from factories and not from dead animals.  Liver--I can't even think about it.  Milk had such a horrible taste and left a coating in my mouth that it's a wonder I managed to choke it down.  Now I am a vegan and very happy with my food choices.  That part about being fit-well, I think of exercise as something I hope to get when I retire and move away from suburban hell.  In various times of my life I have been able to walk or ride a bike to work.  I hope to be able to do that again.
Moving on-"the ability to take care of yourself, to do your work skillfully, and to take pleasure in it;"
Well, here is evidence that I should have stayed in Camp Fire long enough to master this objective.  I think that too many girls of my generation were raised to be helpless.  Not that we couldn't cook and clean but we weren't raised knowing we would have to support ourselves financially.  If I had realized as a child that I truly was free to do whatever I wanted when I grew up my life would have gone in a different direction.  I have a good job now but I have been doing it so many years that I am bored to death and I am marking tine until I can retire.  I don't  want to live like this.  Maybe my Camp Fire project will help me take control of my life.
Next-"Interests, skills and hobbies you can enjoy  with others and alone;"  I have more interests than there are hours in the day.  I am a very private person and sharing hobbies is hard for me.  Solo activities have always been easier for me to excel at.  Maybe there is an activity in the book that will force me to come out of my shell.
Next-"Love of the outdoors and skill in outdoor living;" This is something I have always wanted more of in my life.  I love sleeping outdoors as long as I am safe.  I love cooking outside.  I love trees and plants.  I don't like snakes, bugs and icky things.  Someday, I will spend more time outdoors.  In spite of the name Camp Fire Girls, our group never had a campfire.
Next-"A happy heart that will help you find beauty, romance and adventure in the common things of daily life;" Well, I failed at this one.  I think I may have been born with a heavy heart and my family did little to lighten it.  For my parents everything was utilitarian.  The idea of making your surroundings beautiful would have been laughed at in our house.  As an adult I have tried to make my home beautiful but I get little cooperation from my present family. They don't clean up after themselves.  They knock things down and don't put them back.  These are things I am going to take control of  in the near future.  As for finding adventure in daily life...I haven't figured that out yet.  Some things are just plain drudgery.
So we have come to the end of the objectives.  Next in the book are the symbol designs for the law of the Camp Fire Girls.  Until then, thanks for reading!